Today I wanted to address something that has been dear to my heart this week. This idea that we have such a skewed perception of ourselves. That sometimes other people see us and everything we have to offer more clearly than we see ourselves.  Naturally you're going to be harder on yourself than someone else will be, but you know what? Sometimes our critiques are misplaced and sometimes our judgement and criticism of ourselves are more unfair than anything else.  

I tell people all the time that I have never been a person that's entirely comfortable with who I am or comfortable with my body. When I was in high school and college, I hated my legs. Like, no joke, HATED them. In college, I had (and still have) a really tall, beautiful friend who I would always joke with about having a leg transplant.  There were so many times when we'd go out together that I'd strategically choose my outfit to show of something about my body that I knew she didn't have.

Add on top of that the fact that I never said what I thought because I was afraid of people judging me for it.  It was a lethal combination. I had NO CONFIDENCE in myself. And you know what - that's FUCKED UP!  I'm sorry for swearing, but it really is! There's nothing worse you can do to yourself and your self esteem than constantly compare yourself to what you think society has deemed ideal!

So, what's motivating this post? I've been asking myself that question since I started writing this post on July 11th. (Yup...it really does take me that long to build a post! Sorry!!)  And it's taken me until now to fully realize what that motivation is.  My motivation is coming from this epiphany that I've had! This realization that since I've started doing Beachbody coaching, I have seen a dramatic and profound shift in my personal perception. A shift that I've only noticed in the past 2-3 weeks!  Like, when someone compliments me, instead of thinking their compliment comes from some manipulative place OR comes from wanting something from me, I genuinely believe it.

This is an excerpt from a message I sent to my friend Kaylie, who is a fellow Beachbody coach:

Confidence issues have been a problem for me my whole life. This might be an over share, but I'm going to tell you something anyway. I'd have boyfriends in the past or guys that I was dating and they'd tell me that I'm beautiful and I legit would not believe them. I would look in the mirror and all I would see was my thick soccer player legs and I would HATE them. I would think I was fat. That I wasn't pretty. And for whatever reason, like 2 weeks ago, I met this guy. Literally a random guy who I gave my number to (and still haven't heard from lol). And at several points throughout the night he told me how hot I was and, for the first time in my life, I caught myself thinking in my head "you're damn right I am!"...I literally did a double take and was just like, wait who is this person? What happened to the girl who's inner voice always used to say "no you're not. He's just trying to get laid"? This is the inner monologue that used to play in my head. And it took 25 years, but things are finally changing. And I'm freaking positive that it's Beachbody that made that mental change for me. Knowing that I'm strong and healthy, and doing the personal development, and having all of YOU wonderful ladies around me has allowed me to make that change!

That's the best I can put into words what I've been feeling lately.  What I've been noticing lately in myself!  This complete and utter shift in mentality.  This newly discovered confidence.

I'm going to share an incredibly personal video with you all that I recorded on Monday.  But, before I do, I want to give you some background on the video.  As part of our personal development and support of each other on my Beachbody team (Team Total Balance - woot woot!!), we do essentially skill building groups where we receive training on Beachbody and also personal development tasks to better understand ourselves and our motivations. One such thing was developing an idea of what our "why" is.  Why are we all doing Beachbody coaching?  Kaylie posted this wonderful video about what her why was, and why she was motivated to help people in pursuing Beachbody and some of the things she said in that video really struck a chord with me.  So, I recorded my own video.

This is deep. Personal. And I'm really putting myself out there. But, I feel like this needs to be shared. And what better place to share it?


Do you judge yourself unfairly? 
And finally, what are you doing to change that? What makes you feel the most confident, the sexiest, the most sure of yourself?  

DO THAT THING!  LATCH ONTO THAT THING! And fight like hell to make sure that thing stays in your life for the long haul. For me it was Beachbody.  Beachbody gave me that!

We ALL deserve to feel that confidence in ourselves, and it took A LOT for me to find mine! Beachbody helped so much with that. But you know, it's not about the workouts or the fitness or the fact that I feel physcially stronger. It's the fact that for the first time I'm validating myself! 

You deserve to be too. You deserve to find that confidence.  So, give yourself some credit for everything that you have done! Own the praise you receive because people are much more genuine than you think.  And when they take the time to compliment you, they genuinely mean it!  

Change your mindset. Change your perception. Change your attitude, because you ARE worthwhile and you DO deserve everything that has come to you in your life!  

I want to help you in any way that I can to find that! Message me on Google + or comment below if I can help you find that for yourself!

I love you all! Even though I don't know you, I hope you know that I love you for reading this, and I love you for sharing this exceptionally personal moment with me!  It is RAW and REAL and I'm terrified to publish this post...haha.

But you know what - the things you're scared of are usually the most worthwhile.