I was reading some Tony Robbins again last night, and I realized that I struggle to know what my values are.  I could come up with values, but are they mine? Do they really fit my life?  And as I was reading, I realized how many good points Tony Robbins makes. For example, think about this...

Do your values define who you are or do you define your values?

He makes this very interesting point in the pages of his book. And it lead me to think about the values that define my life, and if they were even remotely in line with the life I wanted to be living.  So I started writing to answer this question:

What is most important to me in life? What defines me? What drives me? What makes me feel good? What motivates me? Those were all things that ran through my mind as I wrote.  And I came up with this list in no particular order:

Growth
Contribution/Impact
Recognition/Praise
Happiness/Fun
Passion
Health
Integrity
Love
Freedom
Achievement/Productivity

These certainly don't seem bad overall right? So I started asking myself this:

How does each of these things benefit my life?
Do these values COST me anything?
What of these things that define my life should I get rid of? 

Some of these are obvious.  I should not value Recognition or Praise. That was a hard one for me to write down, but I know that I do value that. It's a problem.  And it's one that I'd like to get rid of.

What about passion? Passion can't be a bad thing, right? Well it can, IF it causes you to ignore other aspects of your life like your health, or your family, or it results in you compromising your integrity.

Then as I continued reading in Tony Robbins' book, he made a very good point.

"We are not our values. We are much more than our values."

This may not make sense. Our values define us, you might be saying. But your values really are things that have been conditioned in you from years of reference and experience.  So instead of asking yourself what your values are, ask what you want them to be!

Robbins then asks:

What do my values need to be in order to create my ultimate destiny?

Or as I like to think of it, how do I need to order my values to live my best life?

This may seem strange but I don't know what my destiny is anymore. I'm being drawn down to very different paths, which at times rip me straight down the middle and pull me in very different directions. So, while I figure out my path, I simply want to live my best life.

So I brainstormed some more and as a result generated this, new list of my values to life my best life:

I want to make my mark on the world. I can’t exactly say with certainty how at this point. But, I know that to do anything remotely close to that, I need to have the energy to do so. Therefore, health comes first. Also, I think that no matter what field I enter into, excellence won’t be achieved unless I’m always seeking to improve myself. Therefore, growth comes next.  I love the quote “Happiness only real when shared.” Therefore, I need to make relationships a bigger cornerstone of my life.  Also, if I’m going to make Beachbody a priority in my life, connecting with people will be important. So, therefore, all of this to me encapsulates the same foundational value of love, compassion, and warmth in my personal relationships and interactions. One of the biggest things I want to be in life is a person with integrity, who has and executes high moral standards and is never a hypocrite. A person who does what they say they’ll do. So integrity is next on my list.  Gratefulness is another thing that is a weakness of mine. I think if you’re grateful than it transcends into other aspects of your life, and therefore you’re happier, fuller, more passionate, etc. Also, nothing in life can never be achieved without passion! Passion motivates, and if I’m going to achieve in my life I need to have that! This is an easy one! If you aren’t having happiness and fun in your life, than what is the point of living!?!  Everything you achieve in life should be done happily, not to make you happy! As stated before, I want to make my mark on this world. That’s the only thing I’m certain of. So, I value contribution/impact because I hope to contribute and impact this world.  This value falls down to 6^th purely because I think that these other things will be important to my being able to have an impact. If I don’t have health, I don’t have the energy to do this. If I don’t have love and compassion, people won’t want be to help them anyway. Same thing with integrity. And if I don’t have passion, I won’t have the drive to contribute.  Additionally, I decided to “lump” achievement into that because if I make a contribution and I have impact, than in my mind that is achievement!  These are merely values of mine because I feel like they’re weaknesses that hold me back particularly in my interpersonal skills. Thus, cheerfulness and openness are values of mine to because I want to be a person that people feel like they can come to no matter what!I may have stolen this one from Tony Robbins a little but he has a point. Some people have intelligence and fail to use it. I am an intelligent person, but I need to make sure I am being intelligent, and thus bettering my life.

I feel like I'm pursuing a lot of things in life right now. But I don't think you can truly pursue things with passion and dynamic intensity until you know your values. 

So, ask yourself, what are your values? And if you don't know, go through some of these exercises and you'll maybe find that things that you place value on in life don't quite match up with the life you want to live! Spend some time redefining your values so they match your goal life! Remind yourself every day what these things are, and go after your life with gusto! :-)

Until next time,