I know it's been a while since I've written. Heck, it's been a while since I've even thought about writing.  This has been a heck of a semester. I make no excuses. My spare time has been spent sleeping or working out. I haven't even been keeping up on my personal development tasks, which is a really big deal for me.  I'm stretched very thin.

In the wake of my double exam day today, I'm giving myself an evening off from studying! I'm even having some weekday fun by going to dinner with my friend! So excited!

Anyways...I really felt the need to write something because I'm currently so proud of myself because for the first time in a long time I am in a health kick that has lasted.  So, let me tell you about it...

I finished the Daily HIIT 30 day challenge a bit late around the end of January and wanted something else that would push me really hard. Well, my friend from lab and I had been talking a lot about Insanity. I've always wanted to try Insanity! So, she loaned me the videos and oh my god, I'm in love! This is my kind of workout - through and through.  

As I've mentioned before, I don't really feel like I'm getting a good workout in unless there is a cardio component to it, but I don't like just running to fill that void because I don't feel like that is getting the weight aspect of a workout in.  I've always liked body weight exercises - essentially no equipment needed and you usually get cardio intermingled with weight lifting.  I really found that in BodyRock and Daily HIIT. But, man, Insanity is that on STEROIDS!

About 10 days into Insanity, I went out drinking with my labmates to celebrate the lab technician getting into graduate school. We all got drunk and I was suffering from the worst hangover the next day. So crippling that it felt like I had undone the last 10 days of Insanity work I had put in.  Plus, to top it all off, we had a women's day discussion where all of the PIs and graduate students got together to dicuss Women in Science.  And I felt so guilty for being there in the state I was in, feeling like I wasn't putting in the effort that I should've been, being that stereotypical person who is just partying their years away.  I wanted to be known as the person who invested more ino their life and into their science than that. So, I decided that day that I'd give up alcohol of any sort for the duration of Insanity.  And since then I have.  It's been 3 weeks and I haven't had so much of a beer to wind down at the end of the day. And I've felt so good!

In addition to that I decided to really commit to the nutrition portion of the Insanity challenge. I've been using a calorie counter on my iphone to keep track of my daily intake of food and keep it between 1800-2000 calories, preferably closer to 1800, as well as keeping my fat intake low (~20%) and my protein intake at a high level on par with my carbohydrate intake (40% each).  It's been challenging and I've really had to seek out recipes that are low carb high protein.  Carbs are very easy to fit into your day, and you do need them, especially when you're doing something physically demanding. But so much of our food intake is carbs, and it doesn't need to be. I've gone through almost a whole huge jug of chocolate whey protein powder, eat beef jerky like a fiend, and find myself to be never without my water bottle.  I also have come to the conclusion that tuna is the best thing ever and a really easy thing to up my protein intake and to incorporate into my lunches.

I am in a health kick that has lasted.I feel so good. I feel so strong. My arms have definition like they've never had, and my stomach is getting more sculpted. I'm even getting a little bit of a V-cut in my abs!  And the craziest thing is, I haven't lost any weight! I've actually been fluctuating around one of the heavier weights I've been at in a while, but my clothes still fit great and in some instances they fit better or looser.  It's strange to be almost at the weight I was pre-Weight Watchers, but in the same size clothes as I was post-Weight Watchers.  Just further proof that the scale can be deceiving!

I'm so excited about this, and am even more excited to start Insanity month 2 on Saturday and see where that month will take me!  See - it is possible to stay fit and healthy during graduate school! This isn't something that has to be sacrificed!

Until next time!

This morning, I went to put on my jeans to go to class/lab for the day. It's been really cold here. Like in the negatives kind of cold. So, I've been wearing leggings under my jeans. I know maybe that isn't a typically fair comparison. You don't usually wear a layer underneath your jeans. But, I've had to lately. And this morning when I put my pants on, I ripped the belt loop on one pair trying to pull them on, and on another pair, I couldn't get them buttoned at all once I got them up. I then ran to the bathroom and weighed myself - ugh that number!  

I damn near started crying. This was one of my biggest fears in graduate school. I put on so much weight cummulatively when I was an undergraduate, and I did not want this to happen again. But, I feel myself teetering on the edge of this precipice, and I know that if I don't re-engage now, I'm going to fall back into my old ways.  

So, in lieu of paying attention in class this morning (I know - probably not the best time), I started evaluating myself and my choices lately.
-What have my workouts habits been like?
-What have my eating habits been like?
-Where have I been over-indulging?
-Where else could had choices be coming from?
I had this stream of questions and answers running through my head.  And you know what I realized? Something I already knew. My workouts have been great. I may not be running as much as I used to, due to the arctic tundra outside my door. But, I have been hiiting it hard. Daily HIIT started a new challenge, and though I got a little off track, I have been doing double workouts and kicking my own butt to stay on track for the days I miss.  My problem is in what I consume - the food I eat, how much of it I eat, and in what I indulge in.  Is this ringing any bells?

How about a reminder...(this is reminder is for ME so much more than it is for you...)

For years I told myself that my eating habits weren't the issue and that I needed to work out more. The trouble was, I had always had soccer to keep my in good shape, and I really didn't know how to work out on my own.  I was so wrong. Weight Watchers taught me how much I was overeating.

I took that directly from my "My story" page.  I knew this about myself.  Working out was never my issue. What I'm putting into my body has always been my issue!! You might be asking - and even I asked myself this as I was brainstorming this morning - "But Ellyn, you do all this cooking of these healthy meals on Sundays! How is it what your eating that is causing a problem?"  It's not necessarily the meals themselves. I wouldn't say that I'm eating a lot of food that is bad for me.  I mean heck - my dinner last night was brown rice and a crock pot light thai chicken that I made.  But, notice there were no veggies in there?  That's thing one that I need to add into my eating - more veggies!!

But that can't be wholely to blame.  So, I evaluated a couple others things. Firstly, quantity.  I maybe eating good foods, but I need to go back to portioning, because I know that I'm eating more than I need to eat, and I'm eating until I'm full. That's never necessary.  Eat a serving.  If that's not enough. Your body will tell you. Your stomach will start to grumble, or something, and at that point have a little more. But, let your body tell you if you need to eat more. Just don't eat more out of boredom (Ugh! Again - a message to myself and a reminder/lesson to you!).  Secondly, snacking.  I snack too much. My meals are actually fine. But, my snacks are always too often, too much, and/or the wrong kind of food.  When I snack, I'm often indulging a craving, which is fine. But, I find myself getting into the "it's so good - nom, nom, nom - eat more!" kind-of-mood.  Cookie-monster style...haha. You know what I mean! :-)  Lastly, alcohol.

For some reason, I felt alcohol needed its own paragraph.  I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm graduate school (gee...ya think, Ellyn? I'm pretty sure I beat you over the head with this little factoid).  Well, I've been told by a former mentor that it's not possible to get through graduate school without alcohol.  And lately, I've been indulging a bit too much on that front.  I'm not saying a night out to let loose is a bad thing, but I have been indulging too often AND I haven't been following through with many of my good habits from Weight Watchers.  Habit 1 - Moderation is key.  Habit 2 - Light beer is your friend!  I think these habits will help. I actually have a friend who regains his six-pack every time he stops drinking beer.  Let's test this theory for me, shall we? ;-) How much of a difference will lessening my alcohol intake make?  Let's set a limit shall we? 3 drinks per week or less.  That allows for the occasional glass of wine or beer with dinner if I would like, and/or a couple drinks on a Friday evening with my friends.  Plus, I'm going to start drinking lighter beers.

Not to be completely and utterly negative, I do also think that it's important to congratulate yourself on your successes too. So, I would also like to congratulate and pat myself on the back for keeping up and staying motivated and intense in my exercise.  I want to and will maintain this.  

So let's recap shall we - I need to change my habits before I teeter over the precipice that is my health and fitness in graduate school .  The things I want to work on are 1) eating more veggies, 2) portioning better, 3) snacking less, and 2) drinking less and drinking more light beer.  I'm making this commitment here and now to myself and my non-existent readers. (Haha...I hope this changes at some point).  Meanwhile, I will maintain my workout schedule and intensity.  

Sorry this is such a beast today - but I guess the point I want to stress to you is that I fell off the bandwagon a little bit on my commitment to my health and fitness. But, the important thing is that I recognized that before it got out of control, I evaluated what I needed to do differently, and I'm making changes which are easy to implement into my diet and my life.

To progress, personal development, and moving forward!