Be Unstoppable!

Self-compassion is a new concept for me! It was introduced to me by one of my challengers, now one of my coaches...and it's such an amazing concept!

It has become socially acceptable, especially in the realm of graduate school, to be self-critical. To bash ourselves! We're taught, socially that that is okay. And that that is how we improve. But that's not the case. Being unkind to yourself is the same as being unkind to someone else.

I paraphrased this quote from the podcast, "Art of Charm."

If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, then you would not have any friends.

Mull that over for just a second.

We say things to ourselves like, "I suck" or "I'm so stupid." Those comments come so easily and so naturally. And it's sad.

If you say those things to yourself, even in a self-deprecating fashion, it's unkind. And those things we say to ourselves grow into things that we feel and believe about ourselves.

We need to realize that. We need to stop treating ourselves like that.

 In the attached article, Margarita Tartakovsky, MS discusses 5 Strategies for Self-Compassion! In it, she says "Self-compassion has been linked to greater well-being, including diminished anxiety and depression, better emotional coping skills and compassion for others."

Okay, so self-compassion is good for you. But, what does it mean to exercise self-compassion? What IS self-compassion even?

 In this article, they discuss the 3 types of self-compassion according to Kristin Neff, a PhD in human development.

  • Self-kindness, meaning exercises kindness and understanding toward yourself when you're struggling or suffering.
  • Common humanity, meaning that you realize that you're not alone and that other people are experiencing similar struggles to you. Common humanity points to the fact that we should not feel isolated or alone in our struggles, because more likely than not others are experiencing the same things we are.
  • Mindfulness, meaning that we are able to observe life without being judgmental and that we are able to suppress our thoughts and feelings and merely experience life as it happens to us!
Contrary to popular belief, it is not narcissistic or self-indulgent for you to exercise compassion with yourself! On the conrary, it will only benefit you.

I highly suggest you check out this website, http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/27/5-strategies-for-self-compassion/, to learn more about self-compassion and some strategies that you can use to improve the way you relate to yourself.

But here is the jist!
  1. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend! - The other day my friend said to me, "I'm a hot mess...minus the hot part." Would you ever say that to a friend of yours? NO! So don't say it to yourself! 
  2. Watch your language - We so often say things like "you suck" or "you're stupid" or something along those lines! Watch your language! Be kind to yourself!
  3. Comfort yourself with a physical gesture! - read more about this with the associated link! But the idea is to find a gesture, either placing your hands on your arms or putting a hand over your heart, or something like that t demonstrate compassion in a physical way!
  4. Memorize something that makes you feel compassionate or powerful...or better yet develop your own power phrase! One quote I have started to tell myself often is "Compassion is the thief of joy!" I often compared myself to others, and repeating this phrase to myself helps me to overcome that.
  5. Meditate! So often our reason for not being compassionate stems from just being our own heads! It's amazing what 10 minutes of meditation or merely sitting in silence will do to shutting off the rampant thoughts that run through your head!
I challenge you to start exercising self-compassion!

I challenge you to find an area of your life that you're particularly bad in and work on getting better!

If we're not compassionate toward ourselves, how do we expect others to be compassionate to us? We need to change the way we think about ourselves or we'll never find true happiness and passion in our lives.

Until next time,




 RESOURCES:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/27/5-strategies-for-self-compassion/
Holidays and visiting people can be tough! Not only the travelling part, but once you get there, there are so many temptations and disruptions to your normal schedule! There's a lot of planning and participation in the meal preparation that is necessary for making it through visits and holidays unscathed. 
I managed to make it through the holidays this year not only without gaining weight, but with actually losing weight! In my life, that is completely unheard of. So, I'm going to tell you what I did to help ensure myself that. 

Nothing crazy. Just small changes, and conscious activities that made my recent trip home more survivable.

First things first...

Don't make excuses before your vacation starts. What do I mean by that?

PLAN AHEAD - Pre-airport workout
I didn't leave for the airport until 1:30 pm before my holiday started.  I could VERY easily have lounged around all day, lazing away my last afternoon before I flew home. But instead...I got my workout in! Not just one workout, but two! Insanity Max 30 and Dirty 30... It burned sooooo good!! haha

Next, the airport...

We all know that there are abundant temptations at the airport! You could very easily enjoy some fast food, a burger, too many drinks...etc. But, instead, you could continue your healthy trend! 

I believe that if you're consciously looking for healthy options for yourself, then you will find them. No matter where you are! Including the airport!  I got this delicious greek salad with grilled chicken and tons of vegetables at a SPORTS BAR.  Do you see what I mean? I found the options that had grilled meat, chose the salad that had the least amount of unhealthy add-ons, and had a vinaigrette dressing that I asked for on the side! I ate the whole thing and it held me over for the rest of my travel day! Talk about healthy eats! :-)
Greek salad at the aiport
When I finally arrived at my parents house for the holidays, one of the first things I did was ask my mom when she was going grocery shopping. Now, my parents eat pretty fricken healthy and they're very supportive of the new lifestyle I have adopted. I totally understand that sometimes it's not that easy for people, but you can make every effort to ensure that you have the healthiest possible things available to you. So, I helped my mom write the grocery list and then went shopping with her! We got tons of yummy things that fit right into my eating plan and diet, and...I threw in a little treat for them too...which I'll get to in a bit.
Mom and my trip to the grocery store the day after I got back from school!
Something else you can do...either by yourself or with a fellow active friend...is to get outside and do something active! Instead of meeting up for drinks or dinner ever single time you meet up with someone, get outside!

I was able to spend a lot of time this holiday with a good friend of mine from high school--Rachel! And she took me on one of the most beautiful hikes I've ever been on to Rattlesnake Ridge! I don't know if I can really put into words how amazing this was, other than to just show you some pictures!

At the first viewpoint
My awesome hiking buddy
Lookout from third viewpoint--Sooo beautiful!
Fit Friends are the best! Thanks again, Rachel!


Now Christmas inevitably means lots of goodies, snacking, treats, and BIG DINNERS. Now, I'm not about to tell you don't enjoy these things.  I certainly did. But one thing you can do to put yourself in a good position is to portion your dinner properly! Check this out - I snapped a pic of my Christmas Eve dinner because I was SUPER proud of myself! Not only was the dinner healthy (bravo mom and grandma), but I loaded my plate up with vegetables, and ate less of the carbs! I even went back for seconds on the salad! I call that a win!
Christmas Eve dinner meant lots of SALAD, wild rice, cornish game hens, and family to open presents with!
Now, I kind of teased you before with what extra little things you can do to really help yourself maintain healthy habits. Do you know what that is?? COOK! Cooking for your family is not only a great way to maintain your healthy lifestyle, but it also introduces them to the lifestyle and takes a little bit of the cooking pressure off of them! Sweet deal, right?!

We're a super Italian family - so my dad and I made our family favorite kashkatelles! Not the healthiest thing in the world, but AMAZING!
Family favorite - Kaskatelles from Great Grandma Noni's cookbook
I also had my parents help me pick out two recipes that they wanted to try! Basically, I let them choose from a number. But ultimately they ended up choosing some of my absolute favorites that I'm sure you recognize!

First time I cooked, we made Paleo Phad Thai, which you know I've featured before! My parents had actually never had spaghetti squash, so not only was this a great opportunity to make them one of my favorite recipes, but also to introduce them to a new food! 

And I don't know everyone...I don't know if they liked it...haha
Paleo Phad Thai - my parents devoured this recipe! :-) This is just the chicken with the cabbage mixture (I use cole slaw mix)
I also made another recipe, which I'll share in the next post! :-)

The holidays, and trips home on vacation, are totally survivable from the perspective of maintaining your progress! Make small switches...and be consistent in those things! Don't get lazy and continue to be conscious and as healthy as possible on your next trip or over your next holiday and I promise you'll maintain what you've worked so hard for!

Until next time,

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