I have been tremendously frustrated lately. I tweaked my knee a few weeks ago. It was minor, and I was recovering quickly from it and excited to get back into my normal working out scheme. Then, a nagging soreness in my hamstring from my double header soccer game last week turned into a sharp pain. I thought it was just a fluke - frankly. I've never had muscle issues, which is actually amazing considering my short stocky legs are programmed for muscle tightness. It's hard to stretch out such short muscles because no amount of stretching ever seems to be enough, but for the most part, I've been lucky on the muscle injury front.

This was different thought. I hoped it would just go away, but when I tried to play in my soccer game last night it didn't. I couldn't even run. Couldn't shoot. Couldn't take goal kicks. I ended up playing goalie because it was one of the only things I could do.  I felt terrible for my team, ya. But, I also was tremendously frustrated! Why am I seemingly always injured??

This sort of seems like a new development too. Back home, I had old nagging injuries, but they were more like dull aches after a hard fought game and didn't give me trouble day-to-day. Now, ever since I've moved out here, I'm constantly injured.  I blame the humidity....so not a fan....

I had another game tonight. It was for the department and I'm one of the few on the team that's played soccer before, so I kind of feel like they're counting on me to contribute more. And tonight, I did my best, but there were plays after the fact where it was all I could do to not cry. Muscle injuries suck. I would rather deal with my knee.

I'm frustrated because since I've gotten here, my good habits have waxed and waned with my health status. When I'm healthy, I do great. I run, I lift, I get fantastic workouts in, make great meals, and generally do a phenomenal job at staying healthy and being mentally strong. When I'm unhealthy and am restricted in my workouts, everything snowballs.  I drink more, cook less, eat more crap, am less productive, become negative, etc.  It's like fighting a raging uphill battle and I don't exactly know how to combat it.

This is one of my biggest struggles in life. I know if I really sit down and reflect, I'm competing against myself. I let my attitude and my frustrations seep into every aspect of my life, and when something goes bad, I allow that bad, I permit that negativity to get into every part of my life.  I allow a bump in the road to turn into a mountain that I have to climb.  I allow a pothole to become a chasm.  I allow myself to be buried alive when I'm really only waist deep.  This is something I've been battling with for a while, mentally, and I'm working on it.  I'm hoping the recognition is a good start.


As for my health, I'm in desperate need of some time off from soccer, I think. That hurts. A friend here told me - "Ellyn doesn't play soccer. She lives soccer." And it fits me to the "t".  I love this sport so much. And I'm good at it, which makes it so much more enjoyable. The idea of stopping playing it is frankly upsetting, and I'm not willing to admit that my body is getting older and can't quite take the abuse I put it through in high school anymore.  But, I do need to find something else - some other enjoyable form of physical activity that maybe won't take the place of soccer, but will at least serve as a viable, lower-intensity alternative.

Maybe I'll try rockclimbing.

My friend has been trying to get me to start for a month or so now!

Anyone have any thoughts of things I can try??

RICEing my pulled hamstring tonight. So strange that it's not one of my many surgeried joints! Even stranger was having the other team say "good game keeper" to me after the game yesterday! Ahh!!