Be Unstoppable!

Today I wanted to address something that has been dear to my heart this week. This idea that we have such a skewed perception of ourselves. That sometimes other people see us and everything we have to offer more clearly than we see ourselves.  Naturally you're going to be harder on yourself than someone else will be, but you know what? Sometimes our critiques are misplaced and sometimes our judgement and criticism of ourselves are more unfair than anything else.  

I tell people all the time that I have never been a person that's entirely comfortable with who I am or comfortable with my body. When I was in high school and college, I hated my legs. Like, no joke, HATED them. In college, I had (and still have) a really tall, beautiful friend who I would always joke with about having a leg transplant.  There were so many times when we'd go out together that I'd strategically choose my outfit to show of something about my body that I knew she didn't have.

Add on top of that the fact that I never said what I thought because I was afraid of people judging me for it.  It was a lethal combination. I had NO CONFIDENCE in myself. And you know what - that's FUCKED UP!  I'm sorry for swearing, but it really is! There's nothing worse you can do to yourself and your self esteem than constantly compare yourself to what you think society has deemed ideal!

So, what's motivating this post? I've been asking myself that question since I started writing this post on July 11th. (Yup...it really does take me that long to build a post! Sorry!!)  And it's taken me until now to fully realize what that motivation is.  My motivation is coming from this epiphany that I've had! This realization that since I've started doing Beachbody coaching, I have seen a dramatic and profound shift in my personal perception. A shift that I've only noticed in the past 2-3 weeks!  Like, when someone compliments me, instead of thinking their compliment comes from some manipulative place OR comes from wanting something from me, I genuinely believe it.

This is an excerpt from a message I sent to my friend Kaylie, who is a fellow Beachbody coach:
Confidence issues have been a problem for me my whole life. This might be an over share, but I'm going to tell you something anyway. I'd have boyfriends in the past or guys that I was dating and they'd tell me that I'm beautiful and I legit would not believe them. I would look in the mirror and all I would see was my thick soccer player legs and I would HATE them. I would think I was fat. That I wasn't pretty. And for whatever reason, like 2 weeks ago, I met this guy. Literally a random guy who I gave my number to (and still haven't heard from lol). And at several points throughout the night he told me how hot I was and, for the first time in my life, I caught myself thinking in my head "you're damn right I am!"...I literally did a double take and was just like, wait who is this person? What happened to the girl who's inner voice always used to say "no you're not. He's just trying to get laid"? This is the inner monologue that used to play in my head. And it took 25 years, but things are finally changing. And I'm freaking positive that it's Beachbody that made that mental change for me. Knowing that I'm strong and healthy, and doing the personal development, and having all of YOU wonderful ladies around me has allowed me to make that change!
That's the best I can put into words what I've been feeling lately.  What I've been noticing lately in myself!  This complete and utter shift in mentality.  This newly discovered confidence.

I'm going to share an incredibly personal video with you all that I recorded on Monday.  But, before I do, I want to give you some background on the video.  As part of our personal development and support of each other on my Beachbody team (Team Total Balance - woot woot!!), we do essentially skill building groups where we receive training on Beachbody and also personal development tasks to better understand ourselves and our motivations. One such thing was developing an idea of what our "why" is.  Why are we all doing Beachbody coaching?  Kaylie posted this wonderful video about what her why was, and why she was motivated to help people in pursuing Beachbody and some of the things she said in that video really struck a chord with me.  So, I recorded my own video.

This is deep. Personal. And I'm really putting myself out there. But, I feel like this needs to be shared. And what better place to share it?

I have FOUND my confidence.  

I used to only seek external validation, as I said in the video.  90% of this validation I didn't believe I deserved or I didn't believe it was true.  I used to dress up and workout purely hoping that other people would think I look good. My family, my friends, that cute guy at the bar. But, it's different now.  

I do all this for me - all this waking up at the crack of dawn to workout, reading of personal development books instead of watching movies, eating healthy instead of always eating pizza.  I DO THIS FOR ME! Because it makes me feel so good and so damn confident! A confident I've never felt before! And that in and of itself is so much more important than anything I could ever get from any other person!  I FEEL better about myself. And that's something that is invaluable and it took me this long in my life to realize that self love and self confidence can move mountains.  

So, ask yourself...

Do you judge yourself unfairly? 
Do you rely on other people to validate you? 
Do you believe the compliments people pay
And finally, what are you doing to change that? What makes you feel the most confident, the sexiest, the most sure of yourself?  

DO THAT THING!  LATCH ONTO THAT THING! And fight like hell to make sure that thing stays in your life for the long haul. For me it was Beachbody.  Beachbody gave me that!

We ALL deserve to feel that confidence in ourselves, and it took A LOT for me to find mine! Beachbody helped so much with that. But you know, it's not about the workouts or the fitness or the fact that I feel physcially stronger. It's the fact that for the first time I'm validating myself! 

You deserve to be too. You deserve to find that confidence.  So, give yourself some credit for everything that you have done! Own the praise you receive because people are much more genuine than you think.  And when they take the time to compliment you, they genuinely mean it!  

 Change your mindset. Change your perception. Change your attitude, because you ARE worthwhile and you DO deserve everything that has come to you in your life!  

I want to help you in any way that I can to find that! Message me on Google + or comment below if I can help you find that for yourself!

I love you all! Even though I don't know you, I hope you know that I love you for reading this, and I love you for sharing this exceptionally personal moment with me!  It is RAW and REAL and I'm terrified to publish this post...haha.

But you know what - the things you're scared of are usually the most worthwhile.  
When you meet someone new, you want them to save you. You want them to be everything that you were missing, and everything you've ever wanted. You see your hopes and wishes, your checklist and wants, painted all over them. It doesn't matter what they've done or will do, because to you this is your chance. And when things go wrong, or nothing happens, we turn inward. "What did I do wrong?" we say. 

I've done that. I've been this person on so many occasions.  I still am often this person.

But, the bottom line is this--things will work out. There's sure as hell no way to say when it's going to work out. There's no way to say if we'll be expecting them or if we won't be. There's no way to say if it will be someone we know or someone we've yet to meet. There's no way to know. But, things will work out. Maybe you'll see this person in a different light, or maybe they will rediscover you and love who you are or what you've become since you last saw each other. Who knows? That's the ultimate truth in this whole mess of relationships.  

Of all the silly love quotes I've found on pinterest and in books and poems, I can't say if any of them are right. The only ones that seem remotely correct are the ones that tell you to keep on living and trying, and putting yourself out there. Be unapologetic, and fearless. Be unpredictable and brash. Live your life. Be yourself. And sooner or later, someone will appear or reappear who will be nothing but attracted to the light that you radiate. That's the person you want to be with. And that's the person that all the bullshit is worth enduring for, and who is worth waiting for.

So don't give up.
Don't stop trying.
Don't blame yourself.
Don't stop loving yourself.
And don't stop taking chances on what you deserve.  
Be picky.

Never. Stop. Trying.
This is a random one...but I really felt like posting a couple (exceedingly crappy) cell phone pics I snapped over the last couple days!

Firstly, I was really  impressed by the cafe in the Public Health building that I frequent for classes! I was waiting for my tea to finish steeping (Orangey Green Tea - it smelled almost too fantastic to drink!), and I was checking out the food they have at the cafe. I'm so used greasy and fattening foods being the "readily available," "grab-n-go" kind of food you see. But, they had some really phenomenal options! Tons of salads - as you can see - all with a great protein add on like hard-boiled eggs, as well as veggie, pita, and hummus platters. But, what I was really impressed by was they had not one, not two, but three different QUINOA salads.  

 I'm kind of a quinoa nut! I love it! It's got great texture, it's filling, full of great nutrients, and PACKED with protein!

Anywho - I was really impressed by this place, and I'm going to keep them on my radar whenever I need a quick snack, instead of going to the hospital cafe, which is mostly greasy food. (Go Figure, right??)

 On a completely different note - I splurged on myself today! :-)

I was at TJ Maxx and found an absolute steal of a deal on an insulated Columbia shell! It fit me great, and I was really excited about it, so splurged and bought it! I was even more excited when I got home and found that my underarmor sweatshirt from undergrad fits conveniently under it! I happy danced around my apartment and snapped a quick pick with my shitty cell phone camera to send to my friend Scott, who grew up in the midwest!

I'm so set for winter!! Midwest - BRING IT!!

 Nerding out! :-)

Until next time,
Love this <3


I stumbled across this blog post a while ago, by Candice Kumai. She's a food-writer and a damn good one I might add. Here post is called "Here's Why You're Singe...And It's Okay!"  The first time I read this blog post, it really struck a chord and I bookmarked it for some inspiration later.


Lately, I've been thinking about that a lot lately.  I've been very torn in my opinion about this.  A LOT of the people in the program, mostly the guys it seems, are married or engaged and came here with their significant others.  It surprises me, because they seem too young, younger than me on occasion, for there to be so many that are engaged.  And then it made me feel a little bit lonely, and that maybe this transition would have been so much easier if I came here with someone. Not that it has been overtly hard.  But, there are so many times, like tonight, when it would be really nice to have someone to spend lazy evenings with.
single quotes | Happy Single Life Quotes | Image Love Quote | Cute Love Quotes For Him ...
And, then I think about my life and how hectic it has been the last few months.  Do I really have time to be in a relationship right now? Yes, I envy those people with someone special in their lives.  But, how hard it must be to keep another person happy in addition to yourself!  I remember the last serious relationship I was in, which ended almost three years ago now, and frankly how relieved I was when it was over. It was taxing, knowing that my happiness depended so much on making him happy and realizing the sacrifices in my life I would have to make and the compromises I would have to make to achieve his happiness. It was a struggle - a battle - and often those sacrifices were not things I was willing to give up. But, I guess that's when you know it's wrong - when you're not willing to give up the things that they need you to. When they don't give you enough to make the compromises worthwhile. 
#Funny Being Single #Quote #lol - via www.FunnyOnlinePictures.com. This is to cute. I was single for 7 Years and I loved it. Being single is def not a bad thing.

I definitely want to meet someone, but I also want to make sure that my life is ready for someone as much as my heart is. It's like Candice said...
I'm busy - and I need to own and understand that.
I'm looking - and I need to stop that (so hard!)
I'm afraid - and I need to not be, in all of the different facets of fear that I feel.
I'm picky - and that is something I need to maintain. 
Because I am classy, I can be patient (when I wanna be ;-), I am beautiful (inside and out, even though I'm still working on many things), and I know what I want, and deserve to have those things and more without compromising them for anyone!  

So, thanks Candice!


P.S. I also just found another good article about the benefits of being single. And, I have to say I agree with many of them. http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/love-sex/the-single-life-why-its-better-to-be-solo#1

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