I really want to talk to you all today about using "self talk."
Firstly, what is self talk?
I think of self-talk as your inner voice. I feel like all of us have an inner monologue. Sometimes, it's good! Sometimes your inner voice is full of positive things that make you feel good about yourself and what's going on in your life. Sometimes it's optimistic! But, self talk can also be really bad and really negative. Basically, it's the exact opposite. It gets you down, makes you feel crappy about your situation or yourself. This is never a good thing! We want to try to keep our inner monologue positive or at the very least motivating, not self-deprecating or degrading!
You might be curious as to why I chose the images I did for my banner at the top of the page. Well, because my self-image was so insanely positive in both those images that I just felt personally like they fit this post so well. The first time I wore the maxi dress in the picture of me on the left, I firstly had never been able to wear a maxi dress before. They were all to long or too clingy and I just didn't feel comfortable. I put this dress on and my first thought was "Damn I look good!" That's positive self-talk! Now, let's talk about how you can change your positive self-talk and then, how your can apply it!
You might be curious as to why I chose the images I did for my banner at the top of the page. Well, because my self-image was so insanely positive in both those images that I just felt personally like they fit this post so well. The first time I wore the maxi dress in the picture of me on the left, I firstly had never been able to wear a maxi dress before. They were all to long or too clingy and I just didn't feel comfortable. I put this dress on and my first thought was "Damn I look good!" That's positive self-talk! Now, let's talk about how you can change your positive self-talk and then, how your can apply it!
How can you change your inner monologue or "self talk"?
1) Listen to what you say before you say it!
In the same way that we've taught ourselves to think before we speak, think before you, well, THINK! Haha okay that might not make perfect sense, but what I'm trying to say is monitor your internal dialogue! Look for patterns and triggers and learn what things tip you off toward your negative inner monologue starts. That way you can either steer clear of those triggers OR you can anticipate the negative self talk before it happens and alter it!
2) Journalling.
I'm a huge proponent of journaling! I get 90% of my negative emotions out in my journal, that way I can truly evaluate the problem at hand, address it, and hopefully move on! Now, you may think that having a chronicle of all your negative emotions may be a bad thing, but I actually kind that having recorded my mistakes or feelings about certain things keeps me from dwelling on them and actually a) improves my focus, and also b) keeps those negative thoughts and feelings OUT of my internal monologue!
3) SOS Response
I JUST found this image on pinterest! The image I found wasn't linked to a website, so I apologize if this was someone else's content or image that I'm using. I would have linked to your site if that had been available from where I found this image. This is a fantastic strategy for dealing with negative self-talk! STOP and allow yourself the opportunity to address your thought. OBSERVE what you're saying and how it makes you feel! SHIFT your perspective and response!
4) Do something positive for yourself!
It's easy to adapt to a more positive way of thinking when you KNOW that you've done something good for yourself! Workout! Get a haircut! Spend two minutes longer on your beauty routine! Where something you feel sexy in! Commit to a week of healthy living! All those things will make you FEEL better and thus you will have a better perspective on yourself!
4) Do something positive for yourself!
It's easy to adapt to a more positive way of thinking when you KNOW that you've done something good for yourself! Workout! Get a haircut! Spend two minutes longer on your beauty routine! Where something you feel sexy in! Commit to a week of healthy living! All those things will make you FEEL better and thus you will have a better perspective on yourself!
Next, how "self-talk" be used?
When you're working out:
I don't know about you all, but I've found that one of the dangers of working out by yourself is that you really get in your head during your workout. Now, if you're having a really focused day, that can be a great thing! But, if your motivation is lacking...it can be hard to stay motivated and to keep pushing yourself! That's when I use SELF TALK! When I catch myself going, "I can't, I can't," I will literally say out loud to myself, "YES YOU CAN! Keep pushing!" Sometimes, I will even list off the people that are counting on me OR the reasons why I wanted to do this workout! OUT LOUD! Always out loud!
To reduce your stress:
Have you ever caught yourself needlessly freaking out over nothing? About school? About your upcoming meeting/wedding/date? How do you usually cope? I know for me it used to be this constant stream of thoughts about the worst case scenario and it would just cause me to freak out more, and sometimes even manifested itself in illness! Instead of perpetuating the cycle, change your thinking and allow your self-talk to enable you and to build up how well you can manage the situation, how capable you are, OR how little it will truly matter in the scheme of your life if things don't work out perfectly. You think you just screwed up that date you just went on? Instead of telling yourself, "Oh my god I'm going to be single forever!!", tell yourself "Oh well if he doesn't get my awkward humor someone else will find it HILARIOUS!" You made a mistake during your presentation at work? That's unfortunate! But instead of running around going "Oh I'm such an idiot! I'm going to get fired!", say to yourself "Well now I know better for next time, and I'll absolutely kill it then!"
Improve your focus.
Sometimes when I get side tracked at work, I'll find myself say "No, no. You don't need to do that now. It's only getting you off track. Stay focused for ____, ____, and ____"
If you don't use self-talk already--start implementing it now! Positive self-talk can legitimately change your life. Not only can it help to improve your self-esteem, but it can draw others to you! Once you adopt a positive, uplifting spirit about yourself, people will be drawn to you because they will want that energy and spirit in their own lives. They will want that positivity to rub off on their own life. Not only will adopting a positive inner monologue and self-talk change your life internally, but it will attract the kind of people that we all want, and you will change other peoples lives as well!
Until next time,
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