This morning, I went to put on my jeans to go to class/lab for the day. It's been really cold here. Like in the negatives kind of cold. So, I've been wearing leggings under my jeans. I know maybe that isn't a typically fair comparison. You don't usually wear a layer underneath your jeans. But, I've had to lately. And this morning when I put my pants on, I ripped the belt loop on one pair trying to pull them on, and on another pair, I couldn't get them buttoned at all once I got them up. I then ran to the bathroom and weighed myself - ugh that number!  

I damn near started crying. This was one of my biggest fears in graduate school. I put on so much weight cummulatively when I was an undergraduate, and I did not want this to happen again. But, I feel myself teetering on the edge of this precipice, and I know that if I don't re-engage now, I'm going to fall back into my old ways.  

So, in lieu of paying attention in class this morning (I know - probably not the best time), I started evaluating myself and my choices lately.
-What have my workouts habits been like?
-What have my eating habits been like?
-Where have I been over-indulging?
-Where else could had choices be coming from?
I had this stream of questions and answers running through my head.  And you know what I realized? Something I already knew. My workouts have been great. I may not be running as much as I used to, due to the arctic tundra outside my door. But, I have been hiiting it hard. Daily HIIT started a new challenge, and though I got a little off track, I have been doing double workouts and kicking my own butt to stay on track for the days I miss.  My problem is in what I consume - the food I eat, how much of it I eat, and in what I indulge in.  Is this ringing any bells?

How about a reminder...(this is reminder is for ME so much more than it is for you...)

For years I told myself that my eating habits weren't the issue and that I needed to work out more. The trouble was, I had always had soccer to keep my in good shape, and I really didn't know how to work out on my own.  I was so wrong. Weight Watchers taught me how much I was overeating.

I took that directly from my "My story" page.  I knew this about myself.  Working out was never my issue. What I'm putting into my body has always been my issue!! You might be asking - and even I asked myself this as I was brainstorming this morning - "But Ellyn, you do all this cooking of these healthy meals on Sundays! How is it what your eating that is causing a problem?"  It's not necessarily the meals themselves. I wouldn't say that I'm eating a lot of food that is bad for me.  I mean heck - my dinner last night was brown rice and a crock pot light thai chicken that I made.  But, notice there were no veggies in there?  That's thing one that I need to add into my eating - more veggies!!

But that can't be wholely to blame.  So, I evaluated a couple others things. Firstly, quantity.  I maybe eating good foods, but I need to go back to portioning, because I know that I'm eating more than I need to eat, and I'm eating until I'm full. That's never necessary.  Eat a serving.  If that's not enough. Your body will tell you. Your stomach will start to grumble, or something, and at that point have a little more. But, let your body tell you if you need to eat more. Just don't eat more out of boredom (Ugh! Again - a message to myself and a reminder/lesson to you!).  Secondly, snacking.  I snack too much. My meals are actually fine. But, my snacks are always too often, too much, and/or the wrong kind of food.  When I snack, I'm often indulging a craving, which is fine. But, I find myself getting into the "it's so good - nom, nom, nom - eat more!" kind-of-mood.  Cookie-monster style...haha. You know what I mean! :-)  Lastly, alcohol.

For some reason, I felt alcohol needed its own paragraph.  I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm graduate school (gee...ya think, Ellyn? I'm pretty sure I beat you over the head with this little factoid).  Well, I've been told by a former mentor that it's not possible to get through graduate school without alcohol.  And lately, I've been indulging a bit too much on that front.  I'm not saying a night out to let loose is a bad thing, but I have been indulging too often AND I haven't been following through with many of my good habits from Weight Watchers.  Habit 1 - Moderation is key.  Habit 2 - Light beer is your friend!  I think these habits will help. I actually have a friend who regains his six-pack every time he stops drinking beer.  Let's test this theory for me, shall we? ;-) How much of a difference will lessening my alcohol intake make?  Let's set a limit shall we? 3 drinks per week or less.  That allows for the occasional glass of wine or beer with dinner if I would like, and/or a couple drinks on a Friday evening with my friends.  Plus, I'm going to start drinking lighter beers.

Not to be completely and utterly negative, I do also think that it's important to congratulate yourself on your successes too. So, I would also like to congratulate and pat myself on the back for keeping up and staying motivated and intense in my exercise.  I want to and will maintain this.  

So let's recap shall we - I need to change my habits before I teeter over the precipice that is my health and fitness in graduate school .  The things I want to work on are 1) eating more veggies, 2) portioning better, 3) snacking less, and 2) drinking less and drinking more light beer.  I'm making this commitment here and now to myself and my non-existent readers. (Haha...I hope this changes at some point).  Meanwhile, I will maintain my workout schedule and intensity.  

Sorry this is such a beast today - but I guess the point I want to stress to you is that I fell off the bandwagon a little bit on my commitment to my health and fitness. But, the important thing is that I recognized that before it got out of control, I evaluated what I needed to do differently, and I'm making changes which are easy to implement into my diet and my life.

To progress, personal development, and moving forward!