I stumbled across this blog post a while ago, by Candice Kumai. She's a food-writer and a damn good one I might add. Here post is called "Here's Why You're Singe...And It's Okay!"  The first time I read this blog post, it really struck a chord and I bookmarked it for some inspiration later.


Lately, I've been thinking about that a lot lately.  I've been very torn in my opinion about this.  A LOT of the people in the program, mostly the guys it seems, are married or engaged and came here with their significant others.  It surprises me, because they seem too young, younger than me on occasion, for there to be so many that are engaged.  And then it made me feel a little bit lonely, and that maybe this transition would have been so much easier if I came here with someone. Not that it has been overtly hard.  But, there are so many times, like tonight, when it would be really nice to have someone to spend lazy evenings with.

And, then I think about my life and how hectic it has been the last few months.  Do I really have time to be in a relationship right now? Yes, I envy those people with someone special in their lives.  But, how hard it must be to keep another person happy in addition to yourself!  I remember the last serious relationship I was in, which ended almost three years ago now, and frankly how relieved I was when it was over. It was taxing, knowing that my happiness depended so much on making him happy and realizing the sacrifices in my life I would have to make and the compromises I would have to make to achieve his happiness. It was a struggle - a battle - and often those sacrifices were not things I was willing to give up. But, I guess that's when you know it's wrong - when you're not willing to give up the things that they need you to. When they don't give you enough to make the compromises worthwhile. 


I definitely want to meet someone, but I also want to make sure that my life is ready for someone as much as my heart is. It's like Candice said...
I'm busy - and I need to own and understand that.
I'm looking - and I need to stop that (so hard!)
I'm afraid - and I need to not be, in all of the different facets of fear that I feel.
I'm picky - and that is something I need to maintain. 
Because I am classy, I can be patient (when I wanna be ;-), I am beautiful (inside and out, even though I'm still working on many things), and I know what I want, and deserve to have those things and more without compromising them for anyone!  

So, thanks Candice!